On Monday we were informed that Yolande (who is now apparently an executive for the chain of mini-marts) has insisted that everyone should pay 5p for a plastic bag in the Eastenders mini-mart, and that this is to help with global warning.
But it's a lie! She's actually in hospital and the charge for the bags is to pay her medical fees. The cat was let out of the bag when 3 million viewers saw her lying in a ward at Holby hospital last night.
Also seen last night - Always, the feminine towel manufacturers, have discovered they can turn their products into pin-ball machines! I saw it! On the telly! Last night! Just add two ball-bearings!