It seems like only yesterday, instead of January, when I put all projects on hold, because of the need to sort out the long-endured problems with my main development PC. Those of you who had followed that saga will know that I was so pleased with the resulting home-built PC, I built another. This was quickly followed by non-too subtle alterations in my working environment, including new shelves, changing of rooms for my musical instruments etc. Add to this the launch of another website, and the collation/re-arrangement of material for that, plus numerous visits to the hospital, and the whole lot totals up to a fairly busy time since Christmas - then today arrived.
I’ve been sleeping better in the last week or so - until last night. I’d had about 2 hours and woke up to lie awake for what seemed like another 2, when I must have dozed off again - until 11:30am! This scares me, as when I dragged myself from the bed, understandably stiff and aching, I still felt very tired. When I went downstairs I was shocked at the mess - it’s as if in the last 2 days a whole family of gibbons have been living in my kitchen. I breakfasted and spent nearly an hour washing up almost all the crockery that usually lives untouched in the cupboard. As usual I switched on the mp3 player/photo case while I worked, but had to turn it off because the music was upsetting me.
Strange then, that it was only yesterday that I was ready to pick up halted projects, starting with documenting the DRO, (finally) and had set up the camera on stilts over it’s LCD display, ready to start this morning. Instead, since tidying up I’ve wandered around the house seeking diversion and finding none that I wanted to do. I’ve never sat down and documented severe mood transitions before, and thinking that the downside is never going to happen again is part of the euphoric state. Writing this today, I realise that the actual swing down took place a couple of days ago - evidenced by the mess in the kitchen. At the moment, all of what I was doing seems pretty pointless, and I feel isolated and lonely.
A quick look back over the last week or so dosn’t shed much light on any particular trigger - a letter regarding another appointment about my knees - on August 13 (no it’s a Thursday) just annoyed me at yet another delay - something I usually take in my stride. So I’ll just blame it on my brain chemistry and keep plodding on.
Also published at: http://www.joebrown.org.uk/wp/?p=500